Keith Melton - Dark Ride Dogs

Zero Dog mercenary Andrea Walker used to love fortune cookies—until the day she received a death prophecy inside one. Of course, believing a mass produced fortune from a baked good would be insane—until a berserker shows up on her doorstep claiming he’s been sent by an infamous oracle to save her life. She must hire him or die.
Hell really breaks loose when the Zero Dogs are contracted to stop a ghost-summoning goblin’s plan to bring his Eternal Malevolence Carnival and Incredible Show of Evil to Portland, starring a company of ghost performers—clowns, acrobats, and nefarious balloon-twisting mimes. Meanwhile, Andrea’s normally shy succubus friend seems to be falling for the mysterious berserker. Too bad a malfunctioning charm spell has the redcap goblin yearning for her as well.
Now Andrea must elude a death prophecy, discover if her new-hire berserker can be trusted, and avert the looming ghost clown apocalypse. Just another mad mission for the Zero Dogs.

Comment: It's been a long time since I've read and loved the first book in this Zero Dogs series. What I remembered the more was how funny the story was and how original the characters were too. I really think it's one of those books that talking about it can never be as funny or amazing as actually read it.

I had high hopes this second book would be as great and, in terms of weird plot and characters, it was.

In this new adventure, the team must fight against evil goblins while Andrea tries to uncover a mystery and a sense of doom because of some fortune cookies...and at some point maybe the two things look to be connected. Or not? Of course, everything has to be solved while still maintaining some sort of control on her team's members, who can all do unexpected things.But everything is even harder because Jake, the man she's in love with and who gets her, is away on a mission. But surely, with a good mood and friends all can be solved...right?

Once again, I had fun reading this story. The author surely can add a certain tone to this that is impossible not to smile or even laugh here and there. By comparing this book to the other and remembering my behavior, I think the other one was funnier, this has a certain serious tone too, that makes it different, more mature. But Andrea's thoughts are still so funny and some of the characters are as crazy as ever!

My favorite character is Hanzo...just the thought of him quoting weirdly invented ninja sentences makes me want to laugh!

On this book, the team has to make a decision at some point where we can see how close they are or how much they respect the friendship and loyalty in the group. I liked that, to see despite all the craziness, they are, deep down, all friends and try to help each other. Because of the battle against the goblins, we get a glimpse of the things they want the most, or the situation where they would feel happy or alive...again, Hanzo's scene was my favorite. I can't believe in such a weird story I still could feel sentimental and even shed a tear over his deepest wishes...wonderful Hanzo.

Andrea, again, is the key character, mostly because everything we see is from her POV. I like her, despite everything, she has a good heart and only wants to do her work and pay her team, people she respects and wants to take care of. I really liked reading about Andres again and seeing her more vulnerable side...which is quite interesting, considering her tough person attitude most of the time.

The evil goblin wants some stupid goal like using ghost clowns to punish those who are in the way of his world conquering, but he's really such a comic villain...but of course, I still cheered when he was defeated at the end. 

There's an important character that sort of joins the team too, because of this book's plot, and it's mainly because of his interaction with the villain. Quill is a cute character and I' curious to see if his actions here will shape his behavior in future books as well.

I don't have much to say, this is a UF story with a lot of humor and some clues about behavior, attitudes, expectations which I think the author tried to casually insert in here, but all things considered, this is a funny, cute story to entertain you when you're bored or sad. It takes a certain kind of mood to really appreciate this, but if the first book - which I recommend should be read first - wins you over, then this will more fun to add up.

I think the writing can be confusing, the plot even more, but overall, a great time spent for sure!

Grade: 8/10

Keith Melton - The Zero Dog War

The first bullet is always free. After that, you gotta pay.
After accidentally blowing up both a client facility and a cushy city contract in the same day, pyromancer and mercenary captain Andrea Walker is scrambling to save her Zero Dogs. A team including (but not limited to) a sexually repressed succubus, a werewolf with a thing for health food, a sarcastic tank driver/aspiring romance novelist, a three-hundred-pound calico cat, and a massive demon who really loves to blow stuff up.
With the bankruptcy vultures circling, Homeland Security throws her a high-paying, short-term contract even the Zero Dogs can’t screw up: destroy a capitalist necromancer bent on dominating the gelatin industry with an all-zombie workforce. The catch? She has to take on Special Forces Captain Jake Sanders, a man who threatens both the existence of the team and Andrea’s deliberate avoidance of romantic entanglements.
As Andrea strains to hold her dysfunctional team together long enough to derail the corporate zombie apocalypse, the prospect of getting her heart run over by a tank tread is the least of her worries. The government never does anything without an ulterior motive. Jake could be the key to success…or just another bad day at the office for the Zeroes.
Product WarningsContains explicit language, intense action and violence, rampaging zombie hordes, a heroine with an attitude and flamethrower, Special Forces commandos, ninjas, apocalyptic necromancer capitalist machinations, absurd parody and mayhem, self-deluded humor, irreverence, geek humor, mutant cats, low-brow comedy, and banana-kiwi-flavored gelatin.

Comment: This is one of the funniest books I've read. And the best part is that it doesn't make the book look silly. The storyline is coherent in the middle of all the nonsense. It really is.

The story is interesting to follow, the Zero Dog mercenaries are having a busy but complicated day and it gets worse when things don't go according to plan, but in the end the job is done. However, the bad part of it is they don't have much money, so they'll need to do any job that comes their way..and that's when Jake Sanders comes along.

I think the best part of the series is the characters. They all bring something to the story and not just the funny dialogue. Which, by the way, it's another of the best things in the story. I lost count of the times I laughed and laughed because of the things they said. Andrea is the captain and she's a bit serious but her thoughts are quite funny..and we get to see  from her perspective, except the parts where we get what the villain is thinking.
Sarge is also serious but sarcastic, Gavin is always saying something ironic and Rafe is a horny werewolf with a taste for nakedness. Then there's Mai, who runs a horde of furry animals from...hum, somewhere, there's Hanzo, a white medic who lives the life of a wannabe ninja and Tiffany, a shy succubus. Oh and there's Stefan, the too lazy vampire to be noticed and the alien pet cat.
This whole bunch is funny, they say what they want and behave like five year olds sometimes. It's amazing. I had such a great time reading about them and their job. It's all very funny, I can't stop repeating myself.
But the author also managed to give a semblance of order to the plot, so despite all the craziness, it makes sense when we read it.
And also, like I said, there's a consistency in the writing, and among all the laughing, there's a balanced way of telling the story, of making things go forward, which makes the book solid instead of simply silly.
I enjoyed it a lot and will get some more books by the author in the future.
Grade: 8/10