Jay Fieldhouse knows all about sacrifice, too. Brought to London for his own safety by witness protection, Jay's grassroots charity works day and night to save vulnerable kids from a life of crime. But getting close to other people is tough when no one really knows who you are.
When he meets Alastair one night at a charity event, Jay is intrigued by his glimpse of a gentle soul beneath the commissioner's uniform. The two men decide to run their lonely paths side by side for a while—after all, life is short and good sex is hard to come by.
Then the shadows of the past begin to stir, and the words which go unsaid might be Jay and Alastair's undoing.
Comment: I saw this book being recommended in several places and once I got in my head that I would like to try it, the decision was made and, months later, voilá.
Metropolitan commissioner Alastair Harding is attending one more gala in his life, this time to award charities and he isn't prepared to see his life changing, but that is what happens when he meets Jay Fieldhouse, the CEO of this years's winner. They get to chat for a long time that night and they don't end things there. In the following weeks, they see each other often, mostly on the weekend, and what it seemed to be a simple friends with benefits situation soon turns into drama because they both start seeing each other in a different way. However, Jay is hiding secrets in his past, will they be able to get past that and what those secrets would mean for Alastair's career, in order to be happy together?
Reading this novel was quite an experience. It was quite long for the plot but I think I don't really mind it because I liked the story and the writing in general. However, I can see how certain things might have discouraged some readers, for there is a lot of repetition and some situations between the protagonists which read more like juvenile crushes than mature falling in love.
In spite of this general less positive element, I did have a good time and I felt invested in the characters' journey and how they made an effort to be together. What probably makes this a successful book (tome it was) is the dichotomy between the main couple but how that isn't a deterrent for their happiness. Alastair and Jay might start with the idea of something special but for one time only but it is obvious from the start that they have chemistry.
Alastair is the highest representative of the police and his character and reputation must be flawless, something he has achieved with a lot of effort and personal sacrifice. It's true he comes from money and a high positioned family but he is gay and that has worked against him in the past, which is why he has kept a discreet personal life and has had no public attachments. This lonely life has suited him at times but Jay, of course, gives him a new perspective in life and this affects him more than he imagined.
Jay is obviously more complex because of his past, which we guess right away wasn't easy and not privileged in any way. Still, Jay has overcome odds we only get to understand later on, but his need to help others has been impressive and that has gained him some validation, especially in his work for the charity he is managing. I liked Jay, he seems so bubbly and carefree at times but we know from the start he hasn't been like this all his life. His quick connection with Alastair was funny to see developing.
The romance was cute, in my opinion, because we have two people who, for a reason or another, don't feel that they are what the other needs, or they don't see themselves in a way in which the person would see the same. It was cute to see the tentative ways they messed up while deciding if they were falling in love, if the other person would share their feelings and such. you know, everyday stuff that surely takes long to happen between a couple, but in the novel it feels a little juvenile. There were times I felt they didn't act like they were in their 40s.
When things finally seem to become stable in the romantic department, a secret from Jay's past comes to surface and a lot of drama follows. I understand this tactic from a narrative POV, but it surely was annoying how this delayed certain situations and dragged the plot even further when a lot could have been solved much sooner. Again, I don't mind it exactly, but it is a very noticeable element and it made the story seem much longer than the actual plot required. I also expected more drama, considering the cover and the possible issues, but even the most stressful situations weren't that upsetting.











