TBR Challenge: Robin Schone - The Lover

Even Desire Has Its Price. . .
Thirty-six year old Anne Aimes is a spinster whose only attraction is her wealth. But her plain looks mask a passionate woman who yearns to know a man's intimate caresses. Michel des Anges--Michael of the Angels--is renowned for his ability to bring women to pleasure. All it will cost her is ten thousand pounds...
Driven by vengeance, ravaged by tragedy, Michael seeks to lose himself in a woman who will demand only physical pleasure. A woman who won't suspect his own aching needs--or his true motive for accepting her terms. Unable to resist the lure of Anne's guileless desire, he plunges her into a deadly web of deception and revenge where the price of carnal ecstasy is life itself...

Comment: One more prompt for the TBR Challenge of this year, hosted by Wendy, the Superlibrarian. The theme for May is "older couple" and I struggled to find something which would not be part of a series. I know I have books I could insert in this category by Mary Balogh, for instance, but I want to read the books in the series in order, so... not yet. Therefore, this book was it.

In this novel we have the story of Anne Aimes, a spinster whose parents died and now she has some freedom to seek things she felt were forbidden to her, such as liaison with a lover. She decides to request the services of Michel des Anges, a renown escort, since she still remembers how handsome he was when she saw him for the first time eighteen years ago.

Michel or Michael, as he is really called, accepts Anne's terms because he has a secret agenda besides teaching her about what pleasure can be like. The problem is that someone else is aware of his movements and, perhaps, Anne might be in danger, but will he let go of the opportunity to defeat an enemy once and for all?

This book had been recommended to me by a friend who gave it four stars around ten years ago and it features a couple with the ages of 36 and 40. Fairly, I would not say people with these ages are "old", at all, but in the world of fiction, especially historical romance, perhaps it might be easier to accept it. Plus, I had no other viable ideas in the TBR I could pick up easily.... I bet that from now on, books I could fit to this theme will come out of everywhere, though...

I had not tried this author's books either until now, so everything would be a surprise.. I was aware that a good part of this book would fit into the erotic category and this is something I no longer feel interested in, but I hoped that the combination of factors which led me to this book would prove to be good ones. However, I am sorry to say, I disliked this novel and the only reason I actually finished was because of the challenge and because I didn't want to look for a different choice.

The story itself is not complicated, Anne and Michael start seeing each other over a contract in which he will teach her about sexual gratification and she will pay him. I was not interested in this and I was not particularly taken by the characters so, I've skimmed most of the scenes in which they are having sex - thus, a lot- but the ones I read here and there showed what felt like a very clinical way of dealing with this. Perhaps realistic and "adult" in comparison with novels where this is overlooked or romanticized, but it did not help me to see the characters and the situation in a likable way.

I've also read the introduction note the author added in which she explains her reasons to write this novel and how frustrating it was that sexuality for women was so secretive and caused so many miscommunication and unfairness in relationships. I do applaud the idea and the need to write something that highlights an issue many might disregard but the execution to me wasn't a good one. I disliked the characters and the interactions between them all, not only between the main couple, but also the  overall plot and the vibe of the novel, which means everything was a disappointment. Due to this, nothing was really interesting, not even the unusual themes the author wanted to address.

I won't go into details about the plot because, frankly, I don't feel like it. To summarize, Michael went through things that have affected his vision of life and relationships, he has suffered what I'd call severe abuse and mental trauma, and Anne was also subjected to an emotional situation which, of course, contributed to her current self image and why she now seeks this experience. Both their traumas, in different levels, are actually quite intriguing and I would not mind seeing them reach happiness after all that they suffered, but the erotic elements and the terrible things described here and there made for a story that just.... no and no.

There is also a villain, who is truly evil I'd say, and several secondary characters who do the villains' bidding. This means the main characters, especially Michael, are always anxious something bad will happen, and the reader feels the same, so... I was annoyed and angry most of the time that things got to this point. Then the villain does something to the heroine, and we learn more of what Michael went though as a child and... argh. No. This story is one to forget quickly.

Since then, I have read some interesting reviews on this book,including some positive ones, and I can see why some readers liked it but to me this was one of those stories I will not think of fondly. I finished the book for the challenge but that was it. Therefore, only one star and that is mostly for the idea that prompted this novel's existence, for the author's note and because it wasn't a big story to go through. I will likely not try anything else by this author.

Grade: 2/10

Miranda Cowley Heller - The Paper Palace

On a perfect August morning, Elle Bishop heads out for a swim in the pond below 'The Paper Palace' - her family's holiday home in Cape Cod. As she dives beneath the water she relives the passionate encounter she had the night before, against the side of the house that knows all her darkest secrets, while her husband and mother chatted to their guests inside...
So begins a story that unfolds over twenty-four hours and fifty years, as Elle's shocking betrayal leads her to a life-changing decision.

Comment: This book was quite a hit in 2021, being part of several "best of" lists, and after a while I decided to add it to my TBR, although the blurb did mention cheating and this isn't usually a subject I care to read about. It also helped a friend I tend to do buddy reads with also had it and we scheduled it for this August. Well, we might as well not.

Elle is spending holidays with her family and some friends at her family's house in Cape Cod and one night she has sex with her friend Jonas, something they had wanted for a long time, while her husband and children are indoors. The next morning, Elle goes for a swim and she can't help thinking about what she did, but mostly, why. From then on, the more she realizes there's some kind of choice to be made here, Elle relives her past, relives her decisions and why she got to this point, but will her decision be made with her head or with her heart?

I had not read reviews about this before starting reading because, sometimes, I might read something that ends up influencing me or it's spoilerish, and that is why I was caught by surprise by how much I disliked this book.

On the cover and inner cover of my paperback edition there are plenty of references by those who praise this story and the author and the rating average is quite high in most sites, and I could only hope for a good story but it wasn't so for me, nor for my friend who also rated it low. In fact, when we chatted about it, it became obvious we both had only finished it because it has been an agreed read and there was an expectation of an exchange of ideas, otherwise this would have been a DNF.

It is true I dislike the cheating subject, even if it's not a romance. Often, this is found in stories where characters will need to overcome it or process it and move on, but it isn't an active part of the plot. Not here, and while this is fiction and not romance, I could perhaps accept it if the reasoning was string enough, or if the author convinced me this would lead to some cathartic decision (as is implied by the blurb) but I've found out that every single character in this book was incredibly loathsome, some more than others, and I didn't like any, nor was I rooting for any.

Let it be said, there is a lot of abuse happening in this book. This is a constant repetition from character to character and it put me off tremendously. Not only because what are the odds, but why would the author think this was necessary to tell Elle's story? What it achieved with me was to convince me everyone is dysfunctional and a liar and why would anyone bother being alive... it was very depressing to read about these characters going through something so bad, but worse! It seemed there was no point, for they don't "learn" anything, they don't seem to need to overcome and deal with this as adults and, unlike what a positive review I've now read included, I don't think having this content in a story is "talking about it and not hiding it". There has to be something to be gained, even if only closure by seeing a therapist or something.

If the characters had been more appealing, I could process this as realistic, after all people do things in real life they don't in fiction or if someone is waiting for a reaction. But everyone had some kind of flaw or was selfish or did despicable things and it became almost a personal dare to finish because I had agreed with my friend but also to see where else would the author go to make these characters do things they shouldn't but doing them is shocking for the novel's drama.

Apparently, the goal of having a story set in 24 hours, narrated by Elle, with several flashbacks to previous events, namely related to her family members, was to explain why Elle is now being unfaithful and why only now. I did not find the reasons to be convincing and all the misery and abuse we had to go through could have been used differently and this story could have been focused on other elements instead, perhaps making this a true woman's fiction.

Elle needs to make a decision by the end of the story and she does. That is the whole point. Therefore, is her decision a brave one? I was supposed to have thought yes, considering the drama and all the poetic sentences that make this a literary fiction story (is this a thing?), perhaps that is why we have so many shocking scenes too, but then, Elle's decision is, what? Oh yes, her decision is as obvious as anyone would assume, considering her family! I mean...why all this then?

I was very disappointed, because it's always sad that something doesn't live up to one's expectations, even if those are low. I could debate intentions and goals the author might have had, but ultimately I've agreed with my friend this wasn't in any way captivating because Elle and the other characters don't seem to really learn any lessons, nor to they become better people because of the traumas they went though. It was almost as if we, the reader, had to follow all their negative experiences and that was, honestly, too tiring and pointless.

Grade: 2/10

Mini - Comments

The following two books were not what I'd call a good read. I've managed to end both anyway, but while Adriana Locke's at least had some structure, Layla Silver's lacked any depth one can think of.

The Wolf's Nanny by Layla Silver is a story about a shapeshifter father with two children and the fact he needs to find a nanny for them, instead of simply taking his sister for granted. 

I thought this would be a fun shape shifter story, but I finished extremely disappointed, although considering the amount of series the author has written and how many books in average are in all of them, I should not be surprised. At least this was a novella sized story, thus why I managed to finish and the reason why the grade isn't even lower. 

Lydia goes to work for Trevor and the author apparently ignored any rule of plot development and only wrote what was necessary for this to have a beginning, a middle and an end. The characters were superficial and dull, behaved in ways that made no sense, plus there were sex scenes when they clearly had no real importance. The world lacked depth and the plot was thin and ridiculous. I won't try other things by the author.

Grade: 2/10 

-//-

Sway by Adriana Locke is a contemporary story featuring a rich, powerful mayor and the waitress he meets at one of the events he had to attend. Although the odds aren't in their favor, they still manage to find enough to like in one another and to want to try a relationship.

I found this to be a likable enough story, because of the premise, which is one I tend to like: couple coming from different class/social background. My problem with this book was simple, I didn't enjoy the way the male characters spoke about other people, namely women, even when some were villains or antagonists. This put me off right away from the story and as things progressed, the main couple's relationship development seemed realistic  - it takes them some time to want to start something - but it just wasn't captivating. I felt there was no chemistry between them, nor reason why they would want to be together except the continuous descriptions of physical attraction and one or two scenes where we were told they gazed at each other in a meaningful way. Alison has a child and part of the story also focus on this, but most of the plot is about them being from different worlds and his political campaign. I felt this story had a good base, but the execution just didn't convince me.

Grade: 4/10

Last reads of 2021

I still have 4 books I haven't posted about but that I read until the end of the year.

I'm leaving a very small comment on each one, so that they don't get forgotten.

 

The Lion's Den by Katherine St John

I added this one to my TBR in 2020 but only now picked it up. A friend started it and DNF'd so I was afraid it would be wasted time but, thankfully for me, I actually had a good time reading. The premise is a young woman joining a previous best friend, her mother and sister and three other guests to have a week vacation in a yacht in the Mediterranean. The "best friend" has a sugar daddy and wants to show off but the vacation is all but dreamy for too many weird things happen... The purpose of this book is to be mysterious and give the impression something shady is going on and why would our heroine, seemingly such a good person, bear the rules and some humiliation, especially since she and the best friend didn't get along before the vacation? We get flashback chapters where things shape up and by the end, although I can imagine many would think this is predictable, I was surprised by the apparent big twist. I also liked there's a hint of a romance for the heroine and a man she felt was out of reach. I agree the plot is sometimes silly and unlikely but at the same time how often don't we allow/agree with things we know won't be good just to keep the peace? This was the last book of the year and I liked it. Grade: 8/10

 

Queenie by Candice Carty-Williams

I was given this one for my birthday last year. I knew about it but I confess I had no plans to read it and if not for the gift, I probably wouldn't anyway. In this book we follow protagonist Queenie, a young Black woman who is the first in her family to have an university degree and she works as a journalist.We soon learn Queenie is on a break from her white boyfriend and some of the issues between them had been related to racism in his family. although they were together for s few years. Queenie then embarks on a sort of self sabotage road and she sleeps around. At the center of all this is very likely a mental health issue and she needs help, but can she get it before the pushes way all her friends? I knew this would be provocative but the reason I wasn't interested is because I heard comments Quennie coped with loneliness and the break up by being promiscuous. I admit I'm a little prude and I don't really like when characters deal with problems this way (seeking superficial relationships or hookups as a "punishment") so reading this wasn't all pleasant, even though she improves and seeks help towards the end of the book. Grade: 6/10

 

Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover

I must be one of few romance readers who hasn't read (and loved) all the books by this beloved author - her fan base is huge - and so many positive reviews do catch people's attention, which is why I finally gave in and tried one I had in the pile for years. Sadly for me, I didn't like it. I found the writing too juvenile and the first person was irritating to me because this is a romance and, in my opinion, the author didn't execute this weel enough that the heroine felt special enough to sustain the plot this way. This is the story of a 23 (or was it 24?) year old woman who starts dating a neighbor, sort of, but he has issues, which we see develop in flashback chapters from his POV in between the heroine's. I didn't find the story appealing but if I had to pinpoint a main reason, that would be the fact the protagonists fall into a relationship - even if they think it will be with no strings attached - so easily after getting to know one another and while she is still doubtful about him being a good guy. Why ruin a possible good plot, despite filled with so much drama, with so much unimportant sex thoughts.... meh..... Grade: 2/10

 

Role Model by Rachel Reid

This is the fifth installment of the wonderful Game Changers series. I have liked all the other books and this was no exception either. We have the story of Troy Barrett, who used to be a sidekick to the antagonist of the series, so to speak. In this book we learn they had a follow out after Troy called the other guy a rapist and the League decided to protect him instead of Troy. This means Troy is traded and lands on one of less successful teams but which happens to be one of the most welcoming and with players who are friends instead of constant rivals. It's in his new job he meets Harris, the team's media manager, and they hit it off as friends when Troy thought he wouldn't even be talked to by the others. Their relationship slowly develops into something special... I liked this one, it was cute and adorable, has some serious issues mentioned but I feel the romance focus wasn't there to steal the attention and I liked seeing these characters interact, deal with things... an easy but wonderful read, even though not as great as my favorite book in the series was. Grade: 8/10

Emma Kaye - Time for Love

Alexandra Turner will do anything to save her twin sister. Even when she's transported back in time to Regency England. Rescuing her sister and finding her way back to her own time will take all her concentration. Falling in love is not an option.
With the death of his brother, Nicholas Somerville became the ninth Marquess of Oakleigh and must return to England to take his place in society. Part of his responsibility will be to find a wife. It never occurs to him he might actually discover a woman he could love--until he meets Alex on his voyage home.
Can Alex and Nicholas find a way to bridge the gap of time and circumstance? Can they overcome their fears to realize that true love transcends time? Or will a dark secret from Alex's past rear up to separate them forever?

Comment: Another book which had been in the pile for a long time and only now did I finally start it. Unfortunately, it didn't end up being as great as I would have liked.

In this story we meet heroine Alexandra Turner, she is going on about her life, trying to get the contact of a woman who she believes could be her sister. Alexandra doesn't have memories of her childhood, but certain clues led her to believe she could have a twin sister and just as she is contacted by someone claiming to be her, she looses contact again. Then, her supposed sister's employer contacts her, tells her a weird story about time travel and Alexandra takes this as a possibility and decides to travel back in time in order to help her, and this way they might finally be reunited. Of course, Alexandra didn't count on meeting an impossible man who makes her doubt if getting back to the "present" is such a great idea...

Yes, it's a fact what I wrote above just confused me as much as any who haven't read this book, and I did. I must confess the biggest disappointment in this book is how badly executed it was - in my opinion. I've also seen some reviews where the expression "well developed plot" comes up but honestly, I just can't understand how this could be.

When I was a teenager I started to notice those Mills and Boon and Harlequin books on supermarkets (back in early 00s we could buy them there) and after reading one or two, the romance world really became broader. I also was influenced by them to write what I like to call short stories of my own, imagining these crazy romance ideas...but you see, the problem were not the ideas, but the fact I could not connect them properly, could not make them feel they were part of the same plot. That is precisely the feeling I got while reading this book, the author has thought of so many things, put them all in this story but the end result feels like a uneven patchwork and not a solid novel.

I became disappointed as soon as the story begins. Alexandra just embarks on unlikely situations without any kind of knowledge of what she's doing, whom she is meeting, there's no explanation for anything, not even her personality is well developed and she just takes for granted she has to act and help her sister - someone she has never met! I wondered, wouldn't one just call the police with such a lack of information? No, Alexandra just goes and following an almost comical string of coincidences, somehow discovers her sister has time traveled.

From this on, it was just.... I kept reading, not in hopes of seeing if it would get better (I figured it wouldn't) but to see where the author would go with all these ideas. Well, one thing is for certain, the author has a lot of imagination and there were a few passages I think were well placed but the overall effect was, sadly, not one I found was polished enough. It looked as if each new idea had to fit that role because it was what one would think right away, not because it had any kind of sequence or continuity.

So, summarizing, let's see... After Alexandra goes through the portal (apparently they exist in specific spots and people could use it but on "our" side the belief is that it could lead to too many people finding them and causing problems, so they are sort of guarded by a private company as much as I gathered) she has to pretend to be a man on a ship which will travel to England and its captain is a man who recently got a title, of course they hit it off but the captain is confused and after he discovers Alex is a woman he is fascinated because she doesn't even care about his scars (of course). In England her sister's family welcomes her, although she starts as the maid but then they all learn Alex and her sister Charlotte were kidnapped as children and take to the "present time"... I could carry on, but you get the idea... there's a lot going on and practically none of it has a well done structure to give it aim or reason.

Anyone used to reading romance novels would recognize several clichés and while I don't mind these, it's certainly better when they prove to be necessary. That is why they are clichés, because they usually work and fit plots. To me, there was no cohesion in how things happened, in why they were playing out that way and it felt as if the author had no logic for several situations, they were just... added to what was going on. I won't even start on the very poor characterization of every character we see.

Sadly, this didn't work out for me. It just lacks structure, editing, a plan.... I will not read the sequel, the sister's story for I can only imagine it would be the same thing again, only with a different POV.

Grade: 2/10

Elizabeth Lowell - Too Hot to Handle

When a career-threatening injury forces Tory Wells off the diving platform, she relocates to Arizona for a promised job while she recovers. Ethan Reever takes one look at the "girl" who turns up at his ranch and sends her packing. She's too slender, too city—and far too attractive to work on his ranch. But Tory isn't the type to give up on her dreams, and for the first time in her life those dreams include love.

Comment: One of the elements I like in romance novels is when heroines are trying to make ends' meet and by trying to have a better life, they improve their skills, they become better people, they realize they are worthy of their own self esteem. If, in the process, they fall in love, the better. The fact the heroine in this book was at a difficult moment at first is certainly the reason why it was in my TBR...

Tory is part of a swimming team but she's out of the competition period after an injury and operation. While she's out of work, she needs money and decides to accept a job proposal as cook at a ranch. The problem is that, when she arrives, the person who told her about it isn't there and his brother Ethan, the owner, definitely doesn't want her there and believes she won't do a good job, being so young and apparently not strong enough for had labor. Tory leaves defeated and despite her leg injury, since she doesn't have money, she walks until some teenagers decide to prank her. Of course, Ethan sees this and decides to help her, and that is how they get to realize first impressions aren't always trustworthy.

This book was published in 1986 and it follows the pattern of many other books from those times in terms of plot and language and dynamics. In this case: opposite - almost enemy couple doesn't see eye to eye despite sexual attraction, alpha hero and innocent heroine, purple prose and a strong lack of balance in the relationship. Now, all these things wouldn't matter if the story was balanced but sadly, it was an extreme case of lack of romance and power dynamics.

Saying this, it would seem most tropes would be out dated but it's interesting how some books, despite a sign of their times, still hold on the passage of time. How many books by Nora Roberts and Sandra Brown which, sure, could have some changes to fit nowadays expectations, are still readable and enjoyable even if one can dislike some detail. Overall, many of their stories still work out well in terms of romance. I don't think it was the case here, the differences between the protagonists and the unfairness of their lack of equality are too obvious to ignore.

I think the most glaring element that put me off was how the hero treated the heroine. Ok, perhaps still following body ripper trends and the idea alpha heroes always behave this way but the love of the heroine wins him over could be appealing to many, but honestly, Ethan treated Tory as an object, as if it was her fault he was physically attracted to her. He thinks she too young, too silly, too innocent, too weak, too much of a temptation and proceeds to treat her so. Tory is a classical heroine needing "rescue" in the sense she is alone, she has very little connections and support and he is ready to be a mentor/lover for her.

Their scenes together are filled with purple prose and it can get a bit nauseous to read about how they think of one another, especially the power Tory has on Ethan and that he is just a man, he can't control his reactions, although she isn't doing anything to seduce him. Juts by breathing, she is a temptress.... it really makes their relationship border on the experienced lover faulting the heroine for being who she is, making her believe he "can't help it" while blaming her and this results in a dynamic that feels very slimy. It's incredible how much of his thoughts are only about sex when it concerns Tory, although he is a "man of the world" and knows what he wants.

It's too bad because I truly wanted to read about this couple. I would love to read about Tory falling in love with the ranch, of finding her cooking skills something to be proud of, something to make her feel worthy of a life in the countryside, of being able to evolve from just someone under appreciated at the swimming team, with no possibility to come back because of her leg, but then she finds a new path. That journey would also have a strong man who might feel he wasn't good for her or that would feel she wouldn't be able to preserve but reality and life would prove otherwise. This is what I would have wanted to read and it was sad the author (perhaps) preferred the trend of the time.

I wonder if she wrote this with willingness, or if she felt this wasn't something she liked writing... I think the saddest part is that it was a wasted opportunity. It was hard not to feel berated in the place of the heroine while reading this but to be fair, the whole story feels a bit weak, lacking solid structure, proper development, a more organized and stronger plot... a little like old fashioned bodice rippers and books from Mills and Boon where there was a page limit. Anyway, what can I say... one less in the pile. Next.

Grade: 2/10

Brenda Ashworth Barry - The Journey of Elizabeth Ann Rose

Elizabeth Ann Rose calls the Indian reservation in southern California home, and is upset and angry when she and her family must leave and travel the road again while her daddy plays in his band and tries to become famous.
She and her family live out of an old beat up station wagon traveling from one city to another. Sometimes, living in dirty old hotel rooms where mice and cockroaches are their only pets.
When Beth Ann turns eleven she finds more than chocolate cake being served. Her mom serves her daddy divorce papers, takes her three children and heads out to begin a new life. In one short summer, Beth Ann’s life completely changes, and she ends up in Novata, a small Northern California town. The very town that will change her life forever.

Comment: I was recommended this book by a friend, as we often share recommendations when we see something we might like to buddy read. Sometimes, it's the plot, sometimes it's the theme and in this book's case I think it was the possibility of a rewarding journey for the heroine and how much she would grow up as the story moved along. Sadly, neither of us properly investigated the fact that, despite this being part of a series, the time line isn't as easy as this following events from book #2 and so on.

In this book we meet 9 year old Elizabeth Ann Rose who, as the story begins, is terribly sad she is leaving the Indian reservation where her family has been living. She is even sadder she is leaving her beloved dog friend and the people she came to love while they lived there. Now her parents are traveling west, as her father is looking for fame and fortune. Things change when her mother finally gives up and demands a steadier life. When that doesn't happen, she asks for divorce and, eventually, she and the children end up in a city in California. That is where Elizabeth Ann Rose's life truly begins, especially because she meets people who will influence her life forever...

What I wrote above is what the blurb made me think this story would be about. I confess when I read some words, my mind automatically thought of those old westerns where life was hard but dedication and friendships could make a difference and, in that regard, I must agree this author's style is like going back in time, if one thinks about how old school stories were told.

The setting, however, is the 1930s with all the hardships and war issues that we can also associate with it. Personally, this didn't make any difference to me, because my dislike of the book was related to another issue but the author included enough information so the reader could imagine the setting and the atmosphere those people were living in at the time. For me, nothing too heavy to deal with, as I sort of expected the book would have such details.

Anyway, back to why I disliked this book... I'll have to say it was all about the content. When the story begins, it pretty much follows what the blurb suggests. Here was a young girl, whose journey would be both physical and emotional, I imagined, about to leave what was familiar to her to embark on the unknown...she was leaving the Indian reservation so this would not really be about how to manage different cultures and such. The family never stayed too long, so this would also not be about what kind of experiences Elizabeth would have on the road.

When she finally starts living in the California city where the family settles in, I was already a little bored, to be honest, for the vibe of the story wasn't what I thought it would be (about facing and overcoming obstacles while gaining wisdom) but about what kind of people Elizabeth met as a child and as a teenager and who her friends were and - it seemed - countless pages of boyfriend doubts and whose boy she liked best and why the one she liked didn't like her the same and so on until all the chapters started to feel repetitive and focused on things that might sound simple and suitable to the protagonist's age but which bored me to no end.

At some point, I checked GR for more information on the series and there are more books where these characters - older, apparently - are protagonists too and face other stages in life, other situations. I was a little confused about the time line of the series and other things, but the conclusion I got is that this is just a moment in the life of these characters and it happens to be while they are young. Sure, not a problem, but had I done more research I might not have read the book.

I kept reading, hoping some kind of lesson were to be shared, some kind of novelty in the life of the main characters or some evolution on what their emotions were but it all felt the same to me until the end. Still, I thought some emotional change could happen but not even that...I was also surprised by how much innuendo and sexual connotations and behavior was addressed, considering the time and the age of the characters. I must say I was quite disappointed in the author by how she portrayed young girls in this book...I wouldn't say this book is about innocence at all, but that's just a POV.

It's one of those things...I see why it might have worked for many readers but it just wasn't for me. I only liked the beginning but the majority of the time I just felt disappointment, so...

Grade: 2/10

Cardeno C. - He Completes Me

Not even his mother’s funeral can convince self-proclaimed party boy Zach Johnson to put aside his
flamboyant ways or even think about settling down. He is who he is, and no one can make him change. But when he meets Aaron Paulson, his brother's best friend, Zach has to step back and re-evaluate his perceptions of love and family.
Aaron insists he’s falling for Zach, but Zach is certain Aaron sees him as just another project—one more lost soul for the idealistic Aaron to save. Zach isn't broken; he doesn't need to be fixed. Aaron’s insistent, though, and Zach finds himself tempted. Zach wants to believe in happily-ever-after, but can he let go of his pride long enough to see Aaron's heart? 

Comment: Despite my words to that effect after how much I didn't like the first book in the Home series by this author, I probably had some sort of amnesia because I decided to give it a second try and went for the second book. It does bother me to have things "left hanging" but this time I'm determined to stay away from this author's work since it is obvious it won't bring me any enjoyment.

In this second book we have the story of Zach and Aaron. They meet the day Zach returns home to attend his mother's funeral. Zach has left town after his coming out because his mother and stepfather didn't welcome him anymore. His brother has been trying to reconnect but Zach decided to come only for the day and to meet his nephews and then he will turn his back forever. He didn't count on meeting Aaron in his brother's house and finding such a strong connection but things develop pretty quickly between them. Will Zach finally have the proof he is worthy of love? Can Aaron have someone who wants to be with him forever?

If there are doubts based on what I wrote, let me spoiler it for you: the HEA in this book is so sugary and cheesy, I don't know how someone doesn't get hyped right away. It was over the top silly and, to me, not in a good way. I know, I should have learned my lesson and I don' mean to be offensive and I'm glad the author has fans and readers who will like the books but the writing style simply does not appeal to me at all.

This story actually started quite well, I was liking Zach and how he felt hurt by how his family threw him out when he told them he was gay and I thought the story would have quite a angle, with him probably coming to terms while not giving up on being who he feels like being. I was even on board with the odd choice of clothes he wore for the funeral but he described it a sort of disguise, so I thought his flamboyant side wasn't as obvious as he meant to act, but things went down very fast as soon as he met Aaron.

Now this had to be the biggest cinnamon roll hero to have ever been invented, he was too cute, too forgiving, too sweet, too amazing, too helpful, too permissive, too perfect. I don't think we had any reading on his personality since he only did good things. I assume it works as a contrast to Zach, his physical and emotional opposite, but it just didn't ring true.

Now, it might seem as if I don't like Zach because he acts easy and as a "twink"-alike. I do admit I don't enjoy reading books about characters portrayed like this but the real reason why this doesn't work for me at all is because of the writing style. I need more depth and complexity to the characters and to the life they have or the issues they face. I just didn't feel that with this book (nor the other one) and the small elements which could have helped me to like something, were just so...badly used, I really can't say if there would be any redemption for me.

I won't even go to the plot situations I felt only proved these characters were not well fleshed, well planned, and  which only made me angry we're supposed to accept their actions as proof of love/commitment/feelings for the other guy. Especially Zach's actions at first, when Aaron tries to tell him he is developing feelings for him (after one meeting. One!)

Yes, it's just one opinion among many, but I'm actually pleased there are many readers who like these novels and it's good to try new stuff (or to give second chances) but this is, ultimately, not for me.

Grade: 2/10

NK Jemisin - The Fifth Season

This is the way the world ends... for the last time.
It starts with the great red rift across the heart of the world's sole continent, spewing ash that blots out the sun.
It starts with death, with a murdered son and a missing daughter.
It starts with betrayal, and long dormant wounds rising up to fester.
This is the Stillness, a land long familiar with catastrophe, where the power of the earth is wielded as a weapon. And where there is no mercy. 

Comment: I had this book in my TBR since 2015 because someone whose opinion I tend to agree with has praised this all the time. I got it with discount months ago and now dived in, hoping to be as dazzled by it as many other readers were. However, it quickly became evident this would not be a winner for me.

In this dystopian/fantasy story, we have a rich and detailed world in an alternate reality where Earth has evolved into being a harsh place to live in. It also happens some people are born with the ability to control the earth, which might mean earthquakes and other changes in how the land is affected.

To prevent this, some powers/entities have learned to contain it by controlling the people who are born with those powers, which means this is an unfair society, exploiting those who can't defend themselves, "for the greater good". 

This story develops through the eyes of three characters during several years and the last pages reveal something incredible to contemplate...

I disliked this book.

There is really no need to have euphemisms or try to soften the reality because I didn't have a good time reading this. I preserved because I still think the idea of this novel to be amazing and I wanted to see if the end would be worth it. With so much accolade and prizes won, I didn't want to feel left out of the "party" but all readers know it's a matter of taste, of timing, of mood, of that story making sense and working out for you in a way it might not for someone else. 

The whole dystopian setting was actually interesting, as was the overall sense I got from (what I understood of) the plot. This idea that there are people who are able to accomplish some things and are used by others for some purpose is not new but that people command the earth and the planet, affecting everyone, was really innovative.

There's this sense of urgency and suffocation through the novel, as if the dust and the aridness of the surroundings were affecting the reader too.

I think the story and eventually the plot too were quite amazingly thought of and idealized. I confess I didn't have it easy in following the pace and the characters' movements to fully understand what was happening but I can still identify the situation as desperate and the descriptions, the ideas as good ones.

Like I said, though, I disliked this book. That happened because of the writing and the narrative style. I didn't like how the three main narrators weren't so easily distinguishable, how their actions were filled with vague notions and descriptions and things that were supposed to be obvious but I felt weren't and that gave me the notion this sort of mysterious vibe was on purpose. It was and in the end we discover why but by then I was completely lost to savor it.

One of the narrators is portrayed as "talking" in the second person to the reader and talked about by the narrator in the second person too. How odd and difficult to focus having to read like this.

It was very difficult to keep track of who dis what and what was happening. (the names didn't help me either)

As the story moved along so did my confusion. Perhaps it's my fault, after all I was not paying enough attention, I was easily distracted instead of really trying... I don't know if I didn't treat this book fairly but I read it all (ok, I skimmed some pages here and there) and the end still failed to impress me. I was tired by then, of trying to understand he beauty of the world presented, even if it was meant to be an ugly one, that I simply wanted it all to be finished.

This has won prizes and I could say it's perfectly deserved but that, for me, the story didn't manage to entertain or dazzle me and I didn't get most of it.

I almost graded this a DNF but I tried to see what the hype was, could the end magically make it all worth it? I thought not and I was just glad it was finally over.

I see many readers loved it and I think I could too but the author's style just isn't for me.

Grade: 2/10

Sabrina Stark - Jaked

Jake Bishop Can Take a Punch, But Can He Take a Girl Like Luna? From USA TODAY Bestselling Author Sabrina Stark: For way too long, Jake Bishop has been Luna Moon's ultimate fantasy, a bad boy brawler with a wicked reputation. Lucky for Luna, she's finally wised up to the truth. Jake's too wild, too reckless, and too far out of her league – especially now that he's rich, famous, and too hot for any one girl to hold.
A digital celebrity and trouble-maker incarnate, Jake goes through girls the way some guys go through bottles of booze. Luna, a college grad whose fortunes are flaming out fast, has two jobs, one psychotic ex-boyfriend, and zero interest in repeating past mistakes. From now on, she's determined to play it safe. No more bad boys. No more drama. And no more crushing on the likes of Jake Bishop.
There's only one problem, Jake. One morning, he shows at Luna's place, uninvited, to turn her life upside down. But why? To help her? To hinder her? Or to settle a score long overdue? No matter the reason, Jake Bishop is in for a big surprise, because this brat from his past is all grown up – and capable of bringing the baddest of bad boys to his knees.

Comment: Now that a long time has passed, the only explanation for why this book was in my TBR is a hopeful but still misguided attempt on my part to enjoy something I guessed wouldn't be a good book for me. But that fickle hope, always leading us on...

I won't go into much premise details because I can't, even now, understand what this plot was about but apparently a young woman (Luna) was removed from her apartment by a guy (Jake) she liked at some point, but who she hasn't seen recently and he takes her to his house and later to a party and somehow they get together. 

I think they knew each other when they were younger and for some reason they cared about one another and now the heroine doesn't want to be recognized by her name - Luna, but instead she goes by Anne. Others seem to not agree with this choice.

Oh and Luna's sister is engaged to Jake's brother and maybe those wouldn't want these together.

I'm being vague on purpose but the truth is I didn't follow the plot easily and to be honest, I still would say there isn't one.

One could say what is the point on reading books not in the genres we don't like. I struggle to enjoy books in the YA and NA genres because they all feel the same and I just can't enjoy a romance with characters who behave so young. And usually the stories are romance focused but the maturity  - or lack of it - shows and the books, in general, feel unreal and silly to me.

Of course, the fun is to keep trying and maybe there will be a novel which will make me change my mind and prove me wrong and positively surprise me. Who is the reader who wouldn't want that?

I added this book, if I can think of it, because someone else I know liked it and based on the dates, I added right after that person liked it. But it wasn't a good one for me.

The plot was confusing. The dialogues silly, ridiculous, not really an exchange in information, simply an increase in mix ups and mistakes. Why couldn't the characters talk like normal people?

Other details i found weird to process:

-Why was Luna in trouble? Maybe I didn't pay attention.

-Why did Jake get her at that moment and why would he think he had to, he's not Luna's boss or close friend...

-Why did Jake take Luna to a party she had no interest in or connection with?

Often the characters would act in silly ways and talk to one another as idiots so I confess I skipped some pages and didn't give the story my full attention. Then another guy shows up at the scene and apparently Luna shouldn't talk to him because Jake doesn't like it. Is Jake Luna's owner? We get to realize that Jake and Luna are destined to be together, so the attraction between them says but then Jake says he's not good for Luna and she should be with someone better. But he hates it when she talks to someone, even those she wouldn't be romantically interested in! He's very confusing. And silly. If this is meant to show jealousy than these two are too immature to care for each other, much less be in a stable relationship.

There are more books in this series but to be honest I couldn't care less. This story is just a waste of time or it was for me. I know taste is relative and it's great the author wrote something many liked but it's not for me. I just couldn't find any sense nor interest in these characters, the main and the secondary (which were even weirder in their behavior....)

Oh well. At least it didn't have grammar mistakes (in the parts I paid more attention to) and it did have some sort of structure...just not a cohesive one.

Grade: 2/10

Heinrich Boll - Group Portait with Lady

From Nobel Prize winner Heinrich Boll, an inventive & sardonic portrayal of the effects of the Nazi period on a group of ordinary people. Weaving together the stories of a diverse array of characters, Boll explores the often bizarre & always very human courses chosen by people attempting to survive in a world marked by political madness, absurdity & destruction.
At the center of his tale is Leni Pfeiffer, a German woman whose secret romance with a Soviet prisoner of war both sustains & threatens her life.
As the narrator interviews those who knew Pfeiffer, their stories come together in a dazling mosaic, rich in satire, yet hinting at the promise of a saner world.

Comment: This is another of the books I borrowed from a friend and read in Portuguese.

I haven't personally picked any of the recent books she has let me read, actually. She picks them and tells me I will find them interesting even if I don't fall in love with them. So far, she has lent me some wonderful stories, others not so good but this one has to be my least favorite of them all. I really...I don't even know what to say about this.

The book focuses on Leni Pfeiffer I guess. She's a woman living in the post-war Germany.

The story is like a very prolonged interview in narrative shape where the author tells us about many character's lives under the Nazi influence or what happened after that dark period of German history. Not always precise, but often ironic, the author shows how that piece of History shaped many ordinary lives...

Humm... the idea of this story is quite interesting, yes. I was mildly curious about how it must have been like to be a German citizen during those awful years. I keep thinking ordinary people couldn't all defend Nazism, even if only in the safety of their houses or their minds. We have many books where the other side is portrayed, but I don't remember any book where we can see normal German people living under the Nazi regime. I was quite curious about this story because I assumed this would the key point of interest in the whole text.

Right...no.

Sadly, there was nothing in this book that captivated or grabbed me enough to make me eager to read. In fact, it was almost torture to keep reading and I only did it because I wanted to be truthful to my friend about why I didn't like it and that I did try until the end.

 

I'll be very quick about this. I didn't like the story because the writing style was very unappealing to me. It read as if this was a story the author was telling us orally and it contains too many characters and things some of them knew or told about the most important ones and to be honest not only did I lose track of them but I didn't find any of them intriguing. I thought this would focus on German citizens who lived during or after the Nazi regime and how did they cope and dealt with that, but the narrative was so out there, so unfocused on reliable actions/scenes I lost interest.

 

I've seen many readers like the style but I'm not one of them. I found this to be boring and irritating and I never connected to any character or action described. I understand the author is respected and knows what he's telling about, I get why he is renowned and won the Nobel and why his writing is evocative, special and how it shows aspects we would never think about if we don't read between the lines, but sincerely, I couldn't wait to escape this and I confess to have skimmed many passages.

 

There are too many characters and not enough continuity to seduce me here. It seems most of what we read is random and I really struggled to follow what was happening. Honestly, I lost focus, interest and desire to keep reading. I finished but it wasn't an experience I'll cherish or recommend.

Maybe my personal taste isn't up to the author's genius but thankfully there are many authors and books to different people to enjoy.

Grade: 2/10

Alphabet Soup Challenge: AM Riley - Quod Tam Sitio

George is an Anglican priest who loves music and the church. His life is very fulfilling; now if only he could find someone to share it with. However, options are limited for a gay priest, as he can't exactly go trolling through the clubs.
Fate steps in when the lovely Dominick is drawn to the church by the lovely sounds of the gay men's choir singing. George is their director and he is delighted to find out that the beautiful Dominick has a stunning voice. George immediately falls for the young man, but Dominick has a secret that may destroy them both.  

Comment: I picked this book from my pile of unread LGBT eBooks because it has a handy Q title and that would work well in my Alphabet Soup challenge...but...

I'm not going to use up much space to talk about this book. I really disliked it.

I'll just tell what this is about and present the reasons why I didn't like it.

 

The book is a serious miss for me. Again, I had the notion this could have been better but the execution and, to be honest, the whole idea just didn't seemed good enough for me. Of course this must have worked and will work for others.

 

This is George's story, he's an Anglican priest who is gay, has gay friends and is the priest in a church that welcomes gay people and even has a choir of gay singers.

So far, not a problem in sight.

George, however, is incredibly attracted to a stranger that sits outside every night there's choir practice. After some awkward moments in different occasions, George finally meets the guy, Dominic.

Dominic is actually a vampire. He has other vampires to take care of and answers to an older vampire who created him, his master. Dominic knows and accepts he's a monster but he still feels attracted to George, his innocence and the music played at the church.

Things get complicated when the other vampires realize Dominic has an interest in George.

 

It was really hard to appreciate this story. I didn't like it, didn't enjoy reading it and disliked immensely the characters. I kept reading in hopes something good could happen rationally and because it was short enough to not bother me for too long.

I'll put in topics the reasons why I didn't like it:

- The story never felt solid or structured enough to make me understand things even if I didn't like the characters.

- The characters were all basic and acted in a way I found stupid, cliché and without any valuable reason.

- Most information was given in a very basic and little explanatory about why things worked that way or why some characters seemed more crazy than others, there wasn't a straight line in the way things happened that could be used as reference to explain things.

- The vampires here are bad, they kill people and they don't feel remorse. I couldn't empathize with any of them, including Dominic.

- Dominic is an old vampire but the relationship Master- Made Vampire is weird, too unbalanced and shows Dominic as someone weak and dependent on a sadistic person that manipulates him. I didn't find any quality in Dominic that made me eager to see him happy.

- George is a very radical priest, he has hidden desires, sure, his thing, but his actions aren't always determined and he acts insecure a lot of time, so I never warmed up to him.

- The relationship between George and Dominic felt flat and unappealing to read about.

- The whole story was boring for me and there wasn't anything that could make me think this was positive or interesting. I can understand why some could have liked it, but for me it did not work at all.

- Any interesting points of discussion about the character's choices, thoughts, actions weren't explained well. Everything felt basic and unexplored properly.

 

All things considered, this sounded very weak to me. I applaud the author's imagination and certain effort to produce the story, but author's dedication aside, this didn't work for me and nor do I think it's that representative of her value.

Completely forgettable and easily dismissed in my opinion. Of course others might love it...

Grade: 2/10

Two depressing books: personal taste, content intention?

Way of the Wolf by EE Knight
->  Louisiana, 2065, 43rd year of the Kurian Order. Possessed of an unnatural hunger, bloodthirsty Reapers rule the planet, sucking out human blood and souls. Starting in revenge for the loss of his parents, on to fellow soldiers, Lieutenant David Valentine intends to fight back in this western-style frontier
 
 Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy
-> An epic novel of the violence and depravity that attended America's westward expansion, Blood Meridian brilliantly subverts the conventions of the Western novel and the mythology of the "wild west." Based on historical events that took place on the Texas-Mexico border in the 1850s, it traces the fortunes of the Kid, a fourteen-year-old Tennesseean who stumbles into the nightmarish world where Indians are being murdered and the market for their scalps is thriving.

Comment: Recently I've read two books that I considered depressing in general. Although one of them seemed worse in terms of content, I can't ignore the fact of how I felt by reading them and when I finished.

Both have in common the lack of hope. I don't mean to say the authors didn't have a purpose, which is rather obvious, actually, but for me, personally, the goal wasn't exactly clear. I think the books were too depressing and angsty to be savored. 

I think part of this reaction is my own take on life right now. I'm not in a happy place and reading about such depressing things puts me down and depresses me. It doesn't mean the books are bad or that they are trash, it just means I didn't enjoy them.

I have to say both had some good aspects but the story, which is the biggest aim in all this, didn't met my taste. I know I'm only one reader and perhaps my opinions don't really matter, but in the end of the day every reader does it for themselves. 

I consider myself a pretty eclectic reader, I don't stick only to the things I know I'll prefer. I also read things I know might not be to my preference and sometimes that's good, it's important to let go of the same, to try something else, to see if that author will be one of those that changes the game and makes us love a genre or a plot we normally wouldn't.

Isn't this the beauty of reading books?

I often wonder if it's true that some readers can read more serious toned books or those so called "erudite" books better than others, that some readers can understand or interpret them better than others. The kind of books one reads is still something as full of prejudice as any other activity in the world, I think.

I feel some books aren't for me and I don't like them. Does that mean I'm a lesser reader than someone who does like those books? I think we all judge others by several things including what we read but if we're honest to ourselves, when it comes to give up on things others condemn, do we really stop reading?

I think it works both ways. I don't look for more conceited books to look good, the same I don't give up on things I like because they aren't considered "better". So, each reader knows their own mind in the end. This means I'll keep trying books I usually wouldn't think of touching but that is a study on my own taste, not on what it means to my «reader identity» if we do have one!

Blood Meridian is a well liked fiction book based on real happenings. I liked the writing, the prose is easily read and unlike some readers, I liked how fast it looked and how small the sentences usually were. What I really disliked was the content. The plot didn't seem to have any goal besides death and suffering and the validity of how a human being can be the most horrendous of the animals. I guess we all have it in us, depending on the environment around us, the stimuli and conditions in which we live. Still, no matter the characterization and the intellectuality of any meaning intended, I did not like the story nor what it signifies. I read this one in PT.

Grade: 2/10

Way of the Wolf is an interesting UF/fantastic dystopian story about the Earth being ruled by aliens. I liked the main character's personality, bravery and knowledge things would have to change and he does try his best in fighting a sacred fight to gain humanity back, one day at a time. However it is depressing to think there are many books until something positive happens and that he is surrounded by degrading things and actions people make against each other and aliens against humans. The body count is high and the small hope one can find isn't enough to erase what I think is just suffering and death, one after the other in a repetitive and seemingly never ending cycle. 
Good things, concepts, but a too depressing execution and content and it was hard to find any reason to continue this series when even more degradation is sure to come.

Grade: 5/10

-> All in all, both books disappointed me. We always create some kind of expectation, maybe not about the perfection of a book, but of what we wish it would be. These two can be wonderful works of narrative art but, for me, they didn't work and that's it.