S.A. Payne - What the Wind Carries

Doctor Thomas Lambry has lost most interest in caring about anyone, personally or professionally. His primary concern is to look out for himself and nothing more. But when he rescues a beautiful blonde damsel in distress his life gets turned upside down.
Alex isn't quite a damsel and while situations have taken a turn for the worse, he's far from helpless. Used to getting his own way and making something out of nothing, he's not used to a man scorning his advances. Challenged by Tom's indifference, Alex takes it upon himself to remind the older man what it means to be alive.
Set in the late 1800's in America, the two travel to find a home thought lost and unreachable and on the way find something more valuable and far more elusive.

Comment: This is the third story by this author I read. The others left me with different opinions, for while I loved one a lot, I was a bit depressed over the other. This one's blurb seemed promising enough and I admit I foresaw a romantic story about love.

This is Thomas Lambry tale and how he used to be a dedicated, hardworking doctor but after the death of his lover, he went into deep mourning and lost his will to be the person he was. He travels aimless and just to pass the time, because he doesn't feel worthy of living or helping others while he couldn't save his lover.

On day he rescues Alex from tree brothers who were abusing and starving him. however, at first Tom thought Alex was a girl because of his clothes. He is surprised to feel attraction and even more so when he realizes Alex likes to dress as a girl. While trying to help Alex to meet his family, will he learn to trust and love again?

While I found this story to be entertaining enough to be easy to read, I still can't say it was the greatest story ever. I don't usually read books with cross dressing heroes or heroines with the exception of this or that historical where the trope is used as part of the plot. In this case, Alex is a man who likes to dress and play the part of woman, at least in public. I don't have anything against those who feel better or more human while being like that, after all, everyone should do what it's best for them to feel they are accepted in the world. But I admit, because this isn't something I tend to follow, I didn't warm up to Alex that much. He seemed all over the place, acting a guy when it suited him, namely in the intimate moments, and being woman in public. I don't know anyone who lives this lifestyle, so I can't ask questions to see if this is close to the reality, but I assume, there's a place for everyone. In this novel, however, despite Alex' good moments, especially when he is being sensible and friendly, he seems a wonderful person. But most times I just wanted him to make up his mind about how he wanted to act to others, being it as a woman or a man.

Tom has a huge weight to carry over the death of his lover and we get to see part of the life he had with him. Those parts were sad and I confess I cried when he was feeling the pain and the hardship of memories, although his previous lover wasn't such an angel all the time. Still, the parts where we'd see Tom's memories and how much he suffers were really touching and were very well written.

The romance and plot mingle and lead towards the fact Alex and Tom have to be together. I am glad they talked and agreed to do what was best with what they had, even if the other did things not always easy to deal with by the other. This is the center of any relationship. Still, I thought Tom was much more conscious of life and the things we need to survive and Alex was still an optimistic even with all the awful things that happened to him. One could say they complement each other but I always felt some sort of unbalance between them, and not only due to their age gap.

In the end the story touched quite the intriguing themes and went a path very hopeful, but despite the writing being successful and polished enough, I still didn't warm up totally to the character's relationship and why they had to act like that. I think this is one of those stories one enjoys with time. I do admit there were good scenes and dialogs which leave you thinking and imagining what would be like if it were us dealing with those things. But overall, it wasn't a complete win for me.

Grade: 6/10

SA Payne - Visions and Shadows

Teagan Walsh's health has always been fragile so he's turned his life and world to one more solitary, more within his reach. It's the ideal of an Ireland free of English rule and the harsh penal laws that spurs him onward, plotting rebellion has become something of a family hobby. Until he meets Daniel O'Raian, a man of few words and many thoughts. The stubborn man's very presence forces Teagan to see the world about him as it really is, not just how he wishes to dream it into being! For Daniel, the ill man offers him something he hasn't found in far too long, acceptance and maybe even love.

Comment: This was the second story I've read by the author. I've had it for a long time but, as usual, I always take some time before getting to many of my books.

Anyway, this is a story set in Ireland with an historical flavor. It's the story of Taegan, a young man whose health hasn't been good since he was a boy and doctors even told him he wouldn't live long. Since he wasn't able to have stressful activities with fear of tiring himself too much, he dedicated his life to help his uncle in writing panflets about the idea of a free Ireland. However, after his father died he's lived alone and now his uncle arranged for another man to go to Taegan's farm and help him with the more difficult chores.
Daniel O' Raian is that man, younger than Taegen, but with a much more harsh life, his family died and he works as a farm hand and an enforcer for Taegan's uncle because he's a wealthy man in the region and also because he's involved in the liberalization struggles.
The two man will slowly going to know each other better and in the middle of attraction and feelings, both will see their value is so much worthy than what each one imagines and what one needs the other is there to offer without a price.

This is a gay themed novel, so most of the story is centered in the guys' relationship and how they start seeing each other for what they really are. I found that part both sweet and strong because it was obvious each one were more focused on what they perceived were their flaws. With the other, the better parts of them would be highlighted and that was great to watch.
I think the book didn't have to be so long, but it wasn't a hardship to keep reading. Everything would be logical and easy to read. It was so cute to watch the guys fall in love and to work out their issues with a certain sense of logic. I mean, it wasn't too sudden or too stupid, their reasons were valid and human and it takes time for people to work out their thoughts and decisions, so in that part it was done well.
As a matter of fact I was enjoying the book a lot until a choice had to be made. Right away I imagined one of them would have to give up their side to be happy with the other, but I wasn't to concerned because at this point it was clear they loved each other, so any of the two choices would be easily accepted and they could have an HEA like they deserved.
Then something happened. I won't tell, but I guess it's not very hard to guess if I say this book has a bittersweet end. Actually it made me sad because I didn't see it coming. I really thought their decision would be how the book would end. It still makes thoughtful when I remember how it ended because it felt like everything would work out in a certain way...

I still enjoyed the story because it has several elements, mostly in the romance aspects, that were wonderful to read, but the end...kind of puts a stop to it. It's still worth reading but be prepared.

S.A. Payne - Snowflakes and Embers

Deseem was to be a gift to God, trained from birth to be a priest but when his father, the king, is short on allies and heirs he's ordered to become a Bentan Bride. Left with no choices and options he braces himself for the worst.
Liam is used to how his magic frightens people and he's learned to like his isolation. He's content being a Watcher and finds real joy in his work. The last thing he wants is a Bentan Bride.
When destiny and chance bring them together they both have to struggle to build a new life.

Comment: I loved reading this story. It was the first thing by this author that I've tried but I'm in love with the two main characters, for real!
The story follows the lives of Deseem and Liam, two different young men, from two places that couldn't be more different. Deseem is "sold" as a bentam bride to another man, because it suits his family's treaties. He is very shy and fears disaproval and beatings. Liam, on the other hand, comes from a more loving family even though he too has some issues to solve with them.
Together these two must live together and face the feelings that start to emerge between them

The writing is uncredible beautiful, and the imagination to creat such a story...I loed the detailed bits of everyone's beliefs and living styles, I loved spending my time reading this. All the situations make sense within the story and the characters acted accordingly to the way they were educated.
I felt sorry for Deseem when things weren't going well for him and I celabrated when he decided to take a stand.
Liam is a very cute character, one the reader feels is ginving everything he can to be fair. It was very good to see the development of their relationship and the way the both reacted to what was happening.
The secondary characters had some deep, they weren't there just to fill some space, and I was glad to see them play their part in uniting Deseem and Liam.

The author has a very vivid imagination and made a world very unique and with flaws, sure, but nothing is perfect except the way the story flows, it's amazing.
I'll certainly read more by her.
I'm really in love, the characters don't leave my head and when I've finished the last page I felt sorry because there wasn't more.
One of the best gay stories I've read.

*Story available to subscribe in the author's site.