Lisa Henry / M. Caspian - Fallout

High-school boyfriends Jack Haldane and Bastian Wade thought everything would be perfect once they reunited at college, putting disapproving parents and small-town attitudes firmly in the past. Now Jack’s on track for a PhD scholarship and a career as a researcher, and Bastian . . . well, living inside a broken body and trailing along in Jack’s shadow didn’t feature in his lofty teenage ambitions.
A weekend camping trip back home offers a chance for them to reconnect, but an ugly confrontation with the local motorcycle gang is only the start of their problems. When disaster occurs and the world unravels, will Bastian and Jack manage to hold on to each other, or fall further apart as they try to survive?

Comment: Next on my diary reads was this title by authors Lisa Henry and M. Caspian. This is an m/m story I saw recommended somewhere for some specific reason even tough I can't remember why anymore, much less why I thought it might be a good thing to read for my taste. I should have given more attention to the labels and some spoiler free reviews before starting this but alas, I did not so I ended up being surprised by how much more negative the story was than what I imagined. Thankfully, it wasn't a big book. 

This is the second book by Lisa Henry I try and I did like the other one so I wasn't really concerned this was a joint effort, I just assumed it would be like her other book in terms of style or tone.

This is a practically novella sized story (one of the positive elements it has) about a couple, Jack and Bastian and their travel to go camping while trying to see where their relationship really is at, after several years together but also drama and guilt and physical consequences of an accident.

Things seem to be pretty normal until they have an unfortunate encounter with a biker gang but they put it aside until the world goes through quite an apocalypse and both guys need to hold on to their humanity and hope for survival...

I'm not certain I could be very eloquent about what I felt like about this book but for those who want better descriptions or even summaries of the bad aspects, there are plenty of reviews on goodreads which I feel could inform and still work as a good expression of my feelings.

Will mention some spoiler situations...

This is a dark horror story and it's filled with apocalyptic situations with ashes falling and people not being able to breathe and so on and attempts by the main characters to survive their individual hells while still hoping that something good can happen.

After they run out of gas in the woods, so to speak, both go their separate ways to find help, Jack by going towards a gas station they passed through earlier and Bastian waiting for him to come back since he has a spinal injury. The problem is that Jack only finds the remains of what looks like an attack on the station and an apocalyptic and scary scenario.

Had this been a story with this situation, where the protagonists had to survive harsh physical conditions or even emotional ones considering the status of their relationship, I think I'd be so motivated to read and know how they can move on from the supposed bad moment in their lives, to develop some rapport to improve or to settle into what they have if that was the way to go, this would probably have been better for me. Too bad the main characters didn't even seem to like each other, much less love. Their personalities weren't that much developed either, besides the basic instinct to survive somehow.

I did appreciate the idea behind this book and it can be/look as more realistic that what people think. I could buy into the feeling of despair but of hope too, by seeing the characters trying to hold on to something, to fight for their feelings and history or even just plain human survival. 

One can read this as just a physical survival story or as an emotional one.

However.

However, the characters aren't just dealing with themselves and the people they meet at the gas station and nearby stores. No, no. They also must deal with the apparently dismissed gang that obviously didn't appreciate Jack being a black guy but that for the reader was just another element to highlight the difference between the main characters, especially because we know their families didn't like the fact they were together.

I seriously hated the fact the gang was part of this story. I hated the fact that besides the challenge of dealing with the supposed end of the world as they knew it, they also had to deal with the gang and how depraved and selfish and all kinds of negative adjectives I could use to describe those who think they are superior to you or who think they can use and abuse others because they have the power to do so. This so called gang takes the chance caused by the ashes and the fear to catch Bastian and other secondary (female) characters and rape and torture them. I can see what the point was with this but it ruined the story for me, it made me hate the characters, hate the story, hate the fact the characters had to survive this.

Is this the definition of edgy and realistic and scary? Probably but I pass while there is still love and positivism in the world. I just didn't stop reading because I hoped the message was that despite bad things, people can survive and prosper but while the bad guys were punished, I don't think the end was that amazing in the crime vs punishment dichotomy. Are humans condemned to be silly excuses for beings and no one will ever find happiness again in such a scenario? Maybe, but I don't care because I rather read books where people aren't tortured for no reason besides petty plays at power. It's enough knowing some people can be like this in real life. It was not enjoyable to spend time with this book.

Grade: 3/10