Deanna Wadsworth - Braving the Deep End

State Trooper Mike Martin considers himself straight. Until the day he met the sexy southern charmer Beau Abernathy. Mike’s world froze the first time he saw Beau climb from the pool at his local gym, leaving him thunderstruck. He’s never experienced such lucid thoughts, or the chill of desire for another man—did this mean he was gay?
As their friendship grows, so does Mike’s concern. What if Beau kisses him and he doesn’t like it? Beau is too important to Mike to just be a sexual experiment. Worried if he’s even physically able to be intimate with a man—it’s one thing to imagine, but another to act on it—Mike enlists the help of Madame Eve a no-strings gay sex-ed lesson. But Mike gets far more than he bargained for with his romantic weekend getaway. Will Mike be brave enough to face his desires and dive in the deep end, or will Beau’s dark secret destroy what they could become?

Comment: I got interested in reading this book after seeing the author's explanation for it on a reading group. She said she got inspired by a Reddit post or something like it, where an user shared his story: how he basically got friends with another guy at the gym, how they slowly got closer, became friends and eventually figured out they were attracted to one another.

The premise does seem difficult to imagine but in fiction it could be a great story!

Thus, this is the story of Mike and Beau and how they become friends over mutual interests and apparently simple things. Underneath that all, however, are Mike's fears of ruining a wonderful friendship if he dares to read more into the whole thing.

When things get to a point where he can't deal with the doubt anymore to know if Beau has the same thoughts, he fears his inexperience with men might be deal breaker so he plans, through an agency, a lesson from someone who could let him test if he would be comfortable with another man, sexually speaking.

Of course, in between several subjects worrying him, including family and work, could Mike really go ahead with the lesson or are his feelings for Beau much more serious than what he thought and he can't bear the idea?

The premise of this book is all kinds of romantic. The possibility of something great is there, the idea of seeing a potential romance between two people who don't see themselves as a couple but who have such a strong friendship is very appealing.

If I remember well, I think the original post (whether it was real or faked, there is that question now) mentioned both were straight. In this book, Beau is gay although he doesn't share that with Mike at first. I can see the unlikeliness of a GFY (gay for you) plot not being so easy to pull off but the romance and potential of it aren't impossible either. 

I guess my expectations were largely based on the original post and this idea, which means the author's choices, from the start, weren't that great for me.

The story started quite meh immediately. That lovely premise about connecting at the gym? All that is a given because we, the reader, don't see any of it. The story starts with Mike explaining this, as if sending a letter to the agency but we don't have any sweet, poignant, funny scenes with them becoming friends. To me, this was a weak choice because part of the interest in the story is completely out of the picture for the reader.

The development, therefore, sets on Mike's fears and his "experiment" and, let's wait a minute, Beau is actually aware of the letter somehow?? He pretends to be the guy waiting for Mike and they talk and become more than friends in the first chapters!

What?, I thought. What is the fun of the whole thing if they do get involved so easily and without their previous connection seen on the page, this feels even less romantic than described.

Being resigned to this disappointment, one could imagine characterization would still save the day.

For me, it wasn't so, I'm afraid.

Mike came across as very immature and even being inexperienced, his attitude towards the situation felt very silly. He is a state trooper, he must be aware of what it means to be responsible but in his personal life, he acted very insecure. We even have the secondary situation, regarding his female best friend, with whom he shared a one night stand he regrets (it just happened because of a trauma!), he didn't realize her feelings "were more serious than his" in the whole relationship definition, and she got pregnant! After she shares this, which he was certainly not expecting, he leaves for his sex-lesson getaway.

Beau is described as older, hot, friendly, has a tattoo...but his thoughts about being with Mike weren't totally positive for me. He did feel rather possessive of Mike but he never told him he was gay. I can understand this, he might not have wanted to ruin their friendship, but I mean, he was aware of the little touches and connection and longing looks for what they were. Somehow it feels things were a bit one sided, as if he omitted something, even if not maliciously, but... I can't help but thinking the dynamics were rather unfair.

Then another issue arises due to the subject of his job and how Mike discovers what Beau really does. This too felt like a very over the top and silly choice. The whole book by now felt like too much out of control.

I had high hopes for this story. I thought this would be a sweet contemporary about an unlikely but still doable plot. I imagined the two guys would be awkward around each other but still friends, I thought we would see first the way they became friends which would help with the falling in love part. I think done well, this would be enough conflict to sustain the book, without any need of weird traumas and neglected best friends and secret job activities. 

Yes, one can say this is a version, this is the author's story and not that couple's story. It's true, but the plot used in this book, sadly, didn't convince me and that is why my grade for it is low.

Grade: 4/10