Ben admits he likes what he’s seen—his friend’s full lower lip and the perfect muscles of his ass have proved distracting more than once. But Ben's still reeling from a relationship gone to hell, and he's not about to screw up his friendship with Maddox, too.
Until their next mission throws Ben and Maddox closer together than ever before, with only each other to depend on.
Now, in the lonely, desperate hours awaiting rescue, the real challenge—confronting themselves, their future and their desires—begins. Man to man, friend to friend, lover to lover.
Comment: This is the third full length installment in the Out of Uniform series by Annabeth Albert. I wasn't really planning on reading the following installments, but a part of me wants to get closure and finish the series, at least the main books. There are several short stories in the mix but I admit I don't feel the need to get those...
In this book best friends Ben and Maddox are at a crossroads. Their friendship has been the basis for a great relationship, in and out of their military missions, but things are weird now. During a mission which didn't go quite as well as planned, they both leaned in each other and now need to recover from the physical hurt they endured, but it seems this is what Maddox needed to really think about what he wants to do with his life, both professionally and personally. Is Ben ready to accept his friend's decision? Can he put aside his own feelings and be who his friend really needs? Can they be more than friends?
I really don't tend to like the "friends to lovers" trope much and this book is almost a classic textbook of why, for my personal taste. It is simply too weird to see the dynamics change but even more difficult to see is how the feelings evolve, especially Ben's, who doesn't act as someone who wants to settle down.
Honestly, I don't remember much about these guys from the previous books but it does seem to have been established they were best friends,that Maddox has been in love with Ben without telling him, preferring to be his best friend and while they both had other romantic relationships. This is why the friends to lovers evolution doesn't convince me, in general. There is an established relationship, which is set on experiences, dynamics, knowledge... switching this all to be a couple seems unfair at times, and even too much of a risk.
The story is simple, they are both having other thoughts of one another, but Maddox thinks Ben would never settle, Ben doesn't think he can have it all with Maddox and one day they simply have the sexual click which didn't exist before since they had been interested in other people, and now things are weird between them. Then the mission goes wrong, they are injured and while recovering and thinking about how great it is to have their best friend alive and on the road to becoming better, they both start seeing the other differently. This change of heart didn't happen because of the injuries, but... it helped.
Thus, I feel rather conflicted and not really convinced they were genuinely falling in love. Or, at least Ben didn't seem to... I think the author established so perfectly Ben's personality that I confess I didn't buy his change of opinion in seeing Maddox as his forever guy. Ben's mother left him and his father and their relationship was never the same, something that affected Ben's perspective of future connections. I understand, I think it's realistic but it made him too set on his need for quick romantic entanglements, without much commitment...even his marriage was in an open relationship.
Maddox was a bit easier to read, he has loved Ben all this time but he is also aware they want different things. Maddox is also thinking about his future and he isn't certain the military is it. I did like knowing Maddox better, I liked seeing where his mind was when it came to why he enlisted, why he liked being part of a military family but not allowing this to be the only focus of his dreams. I felt sad for him, that his parents didn't accept him and that they didn't have a relationship he could feel was supportive, but he remained a sweet, optimistic guy.
After their recovery, they decided to speak and try to be a couple. Sometimes this meant cute scenes, sometimes cringe ones but that genuine, organic vibe that they were it as a couple never really swayed me to believe it properly. I was happy they saw themselves happy, but it wasn't something I could see easily. When they finally have a heartfelt conversation, towards the end, it was meant to put an end to doubts but, again, I didn't see it that way and Ben's explanations felt like something he had to say to prove to Maddox he wanted to be him, rather than something he really considered.
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